Malina Rose Photography
From the moment I found out I was pregnant I dreamed of having a little one that would think I was the coolest, smartest person ever (I distinctly remember feeling this way about my mom as a kid). After life threw us a curveball we ended up moving more than a thousand miles away from all our friends and family when I was 4 months pregnant. We relocated from Ontario, Canada to Portland Oregon and as always James and I were so excited for this new adventure. Piper was born here in Portland so now we’re just two Canadians raising a sassy American baby in Stumptown.
Malina Rose Photography
Let’s skip to the present. My confession for this week is that I’ve often thought to myself over the last month that Piper doesn’t like me. Now, before you jump to the comments just know that I’m aware she doesn’t actually hate me. But that doesn’t mean I don’t feel that way sometimes. I know all about how kids save their worst behaviour for the people they trust the most (aka mom and dad) because they know we will always forgive them. But when you are a tender-hearted, sensitive momma like me it’s so hard not to feel like my kid likes everyone better than me.
She turns on the charm for her friends and is way more likely to follow the rules when the order comes from someone else. She shows off the best, funniest parts of her personality for others but when it’s just the two of us she immediately goes for the naughty behaviour she knows will get a rise out of me. She is so fiercely independent that her new favourite phrase is “no touching me momma!” especially if I try to give her a hug or hold her hand. Again, my rational brain is telling me she is learning about boundaries and control over her body which is AMAZING but also makes me want to cry when my little one literally pushes me away. I’m too sensitive, I know. And it wouldn’t be a confession if I wasn’t a little embarrassed to share this part of myself with you.
Malina Rose Photography
I wish there were love languages for kids so I could know the best way to connect with the more sensitive side of her. And I will figure it out because I know her better than anyone else in the world. I’m so thankful to be her mom! And even though she probably gets a little bored of me sometimes, she loves me too.
What’s your confession this week? Let me know in the comments! If you see someone else post about a similar struggle leave them a comment of support and encouragement 🙂
Annie says
I relate to this 100000000%. I swear from the moment Silas was born his vibe was just like “I don’t need you” lol. But at the same time can be so so so tender and sweet. I will say that like 2.5-3.5 I saw a lot more attachment and affection. But now it seems like he’s moving back towards super independent 🤷🏻♀️ But I so relate. I totally thought that motherhood would mean having this tender and timid little being that thrived with my affection. Not so much.
Nancy says
My confessions this week aren’t baby related specifically, but…sorta baby brain I guess. I washed a dirty diaper (not sure if it was poop or just pee, but defia used diaper) in the wash the other day. SO LUCKY it didn’t fall apart. Must be a good brand. Oh and today I washed a load of dishes in the dishwasher, and didn’t put a tab in with it…so the dishes are still dirty. Lol.
Kendra says
I hear you Megan. 🙂 Laura was totally different than Erin as a toddler. She only wanted me when she woke from a nap and was still a little groggy. She would sit with me for about 3-5 minutes while I got as much hugging in as I could and then she was gone. This is the tiny downside to having a fiercely independent child, which we are thrilled to have in every other way. The good news is that she showed me in so many other ways that she really did love me! I have cards and pictures she drew saying I love you mommy, along with trivets, and plant stands made at Pioneer clubs, and high school, which I still treasure! And eventually you may have grandchildren that will give you all the love and affection, hugs, and cuddles your sensitive heart craves. Don’t worry, it happens much faster than you think! lol
Sarah says
Preach it! I always say being a Mom (or Dad) is the toughest job. There are a lot of days I’m glad I’m not a stay at home Mom. Mostly because it is truly the toughest job out there. Raising little ones has daily challenges. The rewards are incredible but something few and far between. Coming from a Mom to two boys and Step Mom to two boys all with VASTLY different personalities I feel you and your confession.
My biggest struggle is patience. My boys test it daily. And I often find myself snapping them feeling horrible seconds later. But coming from my own Mother…children remember the hugs, the love, the laughter nothing else. 😊
Bev Klassen says
You made me laugh Megz. I can definitely relate, too. ❤❤ in fact, I was just talking to Matt the other day about this very thing!
Lindsay says
I haven’t read it but I know there is a bookm about he 5 love languages for children. Might b a helpful read!
Jaime says
I believe there is a Love Languages for children!
My little girl is only 7 months and I’ve felt this way from day one. She’s never been cuddly, didn’t want anything to do with me pretty much out of the womb (including nursing and 4 months of colic!) and seemed fiercely independent immediately. I can only imagine what I am in for when the toddler years come. quite frankly, the independence is not something I dislike, I am hoping she becomes a happy little girl who self-entertains. I do wish I got the odd cuddle though – my new mom hormones would love it!